I MARRIED A NUTRITIONIST Inside Information for Men on Health and Nutrition

Be careful what you eat, cause it may not be meat.  That’s probably what a lot of Japanese are saying these days after reading that Okayama Laboratory has discovered a way to create edible steaks from human feces.  Holly shit, tell me it’s not so!  Well, it is so.  How so?  Well, Japanese researchers developed steaks based on proteins from human excrement.  Why?  Simple. With the population boom, shortages of food and an overabundance of sewage mud, the climate was right for some whacky scientists to take the term “eat shit” literally.

Here’s the dump.  Sewage mud contains a great deal of protein because of all the bacteria.  Researches extract those proteins, combine them with a reaction enhancer and put it in an exploder which creates artificial steak.  The next step is to color the poop meat red with food coloring and enhance the flavor with soy protein… which, if you’ve been reading my posts, contributes to an overabundance of estrogen in males, essentially feminizing them.  But if you’re eating crap, what does it matter if you’re consuming a lot of soy, growing man boobs and reducing your sperm count.  Women probably won’t want to kiss you either way, dung tongue.

Not to give fake beef all the attention, scientists here in the U.S. have created the first soy product that not only tastes like chicken but also breaks apart in your mouth the way chicken does.  When you pull apart this Franken-chicken, it even tears the way chicken does with a few random strands of “meat” hanging loosely.

Developing fake chicken hasn’t been easy.  The challenge was to find the right combination of soy, wheat gluten, oil and water, the building blocks of most fake meat.  Then came the texture problem which was solved over time by a whacky mix of soy-protein (here we go again) and wheat flour added with water and dumped into an industrial mixer to make a cake batter like substance.  You see?  A little ingenuity can solve any problem.

As you can probably image, PETA and vegetarians across the land are dancing in the streets at the prospects of saleable meat substitutes.  What’s the verdict on taking in all that fake meat?  Only time will tell as the FDA watches this pseudo-chicken and fake meat experiment unfold.  One thing I have learned from my nutritionist and from scores of reputable articles, all that soy certainly ain’t good for us males.  Perhaps it’s part of the grand scheme to lower the human population over time.  Or, as most articles state, it’s to help reduce greenhouse gasses from farm animals.  Either way, I think I’ll stick with my cage-free, hormone-free chickens that eat bugs and play around all day like chickens should… and my hormone-free, grass-fed real steak from real cows that plump when I barbecue.  As for turd burgers?  I’ll stick with the nature-made brand.

Let’s talk Cooking Oils for a moment.  Guys, it’s important to know that not all cooking oils are the same, especially when it come “Smoke Points.”  The smoke point of cooking oils is how high a heat the oil can take before it, literally, begins to smoke or burn.  When oil smokes, it releases free-radicals within the oil and, believe me, that’s not good for your health, or that of your family, dog, or any other living thing that might consume your masterpiece.  In addition, burnt oil makes food taste rank.  Remember, you have a reputation to uphold.

Different cooking oils have different uses, and each performs within a certain range of temperatures.  Some are made for high heat cooking, such as frying or grilling, while others have intense flavors that are best enjoyed by drizzling directly on to the food, or on that special someone in your life (but that’s another post).

Since this is a blog for guys, and guys like heat, especially when grilling, let’s talk about the best healthy oils for your culinary arsenal when the heat is on.

Recommended oils and their smoke points:

Avocado oil (510º F)…   Safflower oil  (460º F)…  Sesame oil  (445º F)…

Grapeseed oil (425º F)…  Coconut oil (425º F)

You’ll notice I left off Canola and Soy oil.  According to my nutritionist, there are much healthier options, such as those listed above.

Here’s a “did you know?”  Canola is not the name of a natural plant but a made-up word, from the words “Canada” and “oil”.  Canola is a genetically engineered plant developed in Canada from the Rapeseed Plant, which is part of the mustard family of plants.  Rapeseed oil, which is an industrial oil, is poisonous to living things and is an excellent insect repellent. Some people suspect Rapeseed oil causes emphysema, respiratory distress, anemia, constipation, irritability, and blindness in animals and humans.  Rape oil was widely used in animal feeds in England and Europe between 1986 and 1991, when it was thrown out.

As for Soy oil, well, if you haven’t read my post “Soy is no Joy,” you ought to.

So, there you go.  You’re all set for the grill, stove top or oven.  Whether you boast about this new-found knowledge to your wife, or share it with the guys at your next poker game, smile proudly because you are just one big know-it-all… and thank goodness for that.  Cook on!  Healthy Spouse.

We humans just love salt.  It’s cheap and makes a lot of food taste great.  For that reason, everything from restaurant food to packaged foods and beverages are loaded with the white stuff.  That’s why my nutritionist and I choose to limit our eating out and eat fresh whenever possible.

Okay, here’s the stats.  A healthy adult should consume no more than 1,500 to 2,300 mg of sodium a day.  Exceed that and you’re asking for health problems, everything from high blood pressure to heart burn.

Now, let’s switch gears for a moment.  When you buy salt, you have several options including table salt, often associated with the little “when it rains, it pours” umbrella girl… and sea salt.  Both are made up of sodium and chloride.  The big difference between the two is texture, taste, amount of processing and where it comes from.

Table salt, which comes from underground salt deposits, is more processed than sea salt, and has additives such as calcium silicate which keeps it from clumping up in humidity, so goes the “when it rains, it pours” slogan.  Table salt also has added iodine, something that started in the 1920’s to help fight a medical condition called goiters.  Yup, it’s as bad as it sounds.  Your thyroid swells up and makes your neck look like you swallowed a softball.  In addition to looking bad and feeling bad, goiters stretches the hell out of your turtleneck.

Sea salt, on the other hand, is generally considered the healthier salt.  It’s made by evaporating sea water, which leaves behind natural minerals that give sea salt color and flavor.  Those minerals, which are good for your system, include iron, sulfur and magnesium.  Unfortunately, these minerals are removed during the table salt-making process.

If used in moderation, again under the 2,300 mg/day, sea salt can benefit your circulatory system by regulating irregular heartbeats and high blood pressure.  And get this, it has also been found to reduce the incidence of heart diseases and heart attacks.  Looking up your nose, sea salt is great for clearing your sinus cavities since it’s a natural antihistamine.

If you’re an athlete, it’s important to know that sea salt helps maintain proper balance of electrolytes in the body which strengthens your immune system and increase energy level.  And while you’re admiring your muscles in the mirror, know that sea salt helps improve muscle tone and strength, and helps prevent muscle cramps.

And, after a day of exercise, sea salt can help you regulate your sleep.  Drinking a pinch of salt added to warm water before going off to sleep can induce deep sleep.

And that’s the scoop on salt from Healthy Spouse.  Get shakin’.

Some people shop for meat either by what looks good or what’s on sale.  You know, like college guys do 30-minutes before the bar closes.  You’re in a hurry and you’re ready to cook.  But it’s important to remember that when it comes to buying healthy steaks, ribs, and roasts, there is a big difference between Grass-Fed, hormone-free beef and everything that’s not.

Here’s the facts.  Compared with grain-fed beef, Grass-Fed beef is lower in saturated fat and higher in beneficial omega-3 fatty acids.  Now, there’s something else called conjugated linoleic acid (CLA) which helps promote fat loss, reduce oxidative stress, reduce inflammation and even suppresses tumor growth.  Grass-Fed beef is the richest known source of CLA you can get so… eating Grass-Fed beef rules.

It’s important for you to always remember that the chemicals a cow eats settle in their fat.  And since some of the beef you eat is fat, no matter how good a trimmer you may be, you’re ingesting that fat and swallowing all those chemicals.  And those chemicals… well, they can affect your metabolism, increase risk for respiratory disease, mess with your fertility and play games with your nervous system.

That’s why my nutritionist and I eat Grass-Fed beef that’s hormone and antibiotic free and raised on organic grasses.  Sure, grass-fed beef can sometimes cost a bit more, but c’mon… it’s your health we’re talking about!

My nutritionist and I regularly buy our organic chicken and grass-fed beef at our local farmers marketing in Studio City, California.  There, we see John and Nadine de Bruin of Dey Dey’s Best Beef Ever, who travel down from their 168-acre ranch in Santa Barbara wine country each weekend with a freezer truckload of healthy meats and chicken.  Their beef cows and chickens are never fed hormones or antibiotics, and their beef cows are never fed grains or corn.  We’re talking free-range, baby.  John, a former engineer, keeps meticulous records of each Lowline Angus cow and practices management intensive grazing.  His goal is to develop great-tasting beef raised in a healthy environment.  And I can honestly say, Dey Dey’s beef is outstanding.

If you’re interested in buying grass-fed beef and organic chicken, and are not in the Los Angeles area, or are allergic to farmer’s markets, we suggest you visit U.S. Wellness Meats, a healthy meat supplier we also use.  They ship most places.  You can visit U.S. Wellness Meats by CLICKING on the logo below.  Use PROMO CODE: AFF15 for a 1-time 15% discount.

And that’s the scoop on Grass-Fed meats from Health Spouse.  Moo.

The term Shish Kebab comes from Turkish words which literally mean “skewer” and “roast meat,” and it’s a signature Turkish meal.  Kebabs (or Kabobs) were used by nomadic tribes as a convenient way to marinate unusual meats on-the-go to get rid of their gamey flavor.  What kind of meats… I don’t want to know.

It is written that Christopher Columbus really got into Portuguese espetadas, a beef Shish Kabob marinated in wine.  Now, we’re not saying this is why Chris had trouble navigating the high seas, but for blog sake, let’s roll with it.  It’s good trivia for your next poker game.

Making Shish Kabobs is easy.  If you’re a good aim, here’s one way to do it…

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No doubt, you’re reading this for the punch line for how safe grilling is like safe sex.  If you plan ahead, the meat is better for you.

Research has shown that cooking food on a grill can cause potential health dangers, if you do it incorrectly. There are a couple of carcinogenic compounds that occur when you cook over high heat.  As we know, carcinogens have been proven to cause cancer.

HCA’s (Heterocyclic amines) are created when meat is charbroiled or over-cooked.  Lab animals that have partied with HCA’s have developed cancer.  PAH’s (polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons) are created when fat drips from the meat, hits the charcoal or burner and smokes up on the food.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking.  No way am I going to give up my grilling!  Okay, time to cool your jets.  Nobody is suggesting you give up your grilling.  But what I am recommending is grilling smarter.

The following are simple “adjustments” to your world-renowned cooking style that may in fact allow you to cook for many more years ahead.

• According to Kansas State University scientists, marinades you buy in the store reduce HCA’s by an average of 71%.
• Want to beat those odds, go with this Caribbean beef marinade which cuts HCA’s by 88%.  Mix ¼ tsp each of salt, red pepper, and black pepper with ½ tsp of sugar, thyme, allspice, rosemary and chives.
• Cook over a low heat and flip your meat frequently.  (Do the same for the meat on the grill)
• Trim the extra fat to reduce flare-ups.
• The char-thing… lose it.

Oh, and if you’ve never grilled veggies and fruit, such as sliced egg plant, scallions, squash and pineapple, you’re good to go.  They are not susceptible to HCA’s and PHA’s.

And that’s the scoop from Healthy Spouse.  Go wet your meat.

Okay, here’s the rub… I spotted what was hailed as an award-winning steak rub in Weber’s book “Charcoal Grilling: The Art of Cooking with Live Fire,” by friend Jamie Purviance. The rub was created by Mike McGrath who used this recipe to win a grilling competition at Chicago’s Backyard Barbecue in 2005.

Now, Mike says to always let the steaks sit at room temperature for 20-30 minutes before grilling.  This shortens the cooking time; the interior of each steak reaches his desired doneness faster, so there is less chance of overcooking the exterior.

This recipe that makes enough rub for (6) 12 oz steaks.  Double the recipe and store half for next barbecue!

The Rub:

4 teaspoons coarse Sea Salt

1 tablespoon coarsely ground black pepper

1 teaspoon dried Oregano

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 teaspoon paprika

1 teaspoon minced garlic

In a small bowl mix the rub ingredients.  Lightly coat the steak with Olive oil (the original recipe said just oil but my nutritionist suggested Olive oil).  Massage the rub into both sides of each steak as if Miss January asked you to put on a little sunblock on her back poolside at the Playboy mansion.  Let the steaks sit at room temperature for 20 to 30 minutes before grilling.

That’s the scoop from Healthy Spouse.   Happy grilling!